Friday, September 30, 2011

Having Life Skills Doesn't Make You a Castrated Man

This week I was exposed to an all new level of Facebook wankery that left me speechless. My friend V, who is the mother of three amazing boys, posted a link to an article about raising equality-minded boys. The article is really great and echos exactly how I was raised. 
I know too many fathers who would never be caught dead changing a diaper or giving their baby a bath because that’s considered “womens’ work.” Well, I think that’s “parents’ work” and anyone incapable or unwilling to change a diaper ought not to have had a baby. Imagine how harshly a woman would be judged if she hired someone to change every one of her baby’s diapers – would she be considered a “good” mother? Certainly not. Yet somehow, we tolerate this out of some men. But really, if we raise boys to believe that baby dolls are toys only girls should play with, what can you really expect?
My parents never segregated their work by gender. My dad changed diapers, bathed kids, cooked food, mended clothing, etc. Mom worked nights and Dad worked days, and whatever Mom did for us during the day, Dad would do for us at night. On the weekends, they both did yard work, home improvements, etc. The only thing Dad does that Mom doesn't is car repair, and that's just because he has the skill to and she doesn't. I never once thought it was because he is a man. 

I have two brothers and a sister, all of whom are younger than I. We all learned how to cook. And not just throw some frozen food into the oven or microwave, but actually cook. We learned how to grocery shop, how to make good food choices, how to clip coupons to save money, and how to prepare a good meal from scratch. In fact, my brother Jon and I made red velvet cupcakes from scratch yesterday, and then for dinner we made a chicken alfredo pizza, also from scratch. Additionally, we know how to not get screwed when buying a car (or getting one fixed), know how to do basic home repair, and know how to take care of the yard, etc. Point is, my brothers weren't shunned from the kitchen and my sister and I weren't shunned from the garage. 

And you know why? Because it was important to my parents that they raise children to adulthood having the life skills necessary to navigate the world. 

But apparently having those values is offensive to some people, and some of the comments V got on her Facebook blew my mind. Here are a few:
Sorry, but this should really read, "Raising a Castrated Male."
(Name redacted) has never been accused of placating a woman.
But she is right on. Women's "progress" has made it the norm to be all the female roles typical of "Leave it to Beaver", with all the chores included, and now need to make a huge salary on top of it. I fail to see how it's progress.
‎"Today, I see a society where women are often forced to do it all because our men haven’t picked up the slack." I love that even modern feminists still define themselves in terms of victimization.
Wow. I didn't realize my brothers were castrated men. I thought they were fully functional adults who knew how to take care of themselves. Thanks for enlightening me, Facebook troll! 
It's even more distressing to point out that not all of these comments were made by men. In fact, the castrated comment came from a woman. And that stuns me to the point that my snark is broken and I can't come up with a pithy comment. But do I really need to in this case? 


  1. These idiots have put all that they have to offer on display. No amount of comebacks or confrontations will change their ignorance, just let them lie there for others to pity.

  2. I couldn't help but comment, then again you have a nice little medium here to explore it further. Right on. I will continue to adore my castrated male and raise a fully intact castrated son. LOL. BTW nice icon. I couldn't help but add that seriously the commenter had to be trolling 'cause that is just too... too much.